Saturday, November 13, 2010

A Look Back

Although I still have about two and a half weeks left abroad, classes are over for the semester. Our last assignment for our Study Abroad practicum was to write a five page review of what we learned and experiences abroad. I chose to make a list of what I know I'll be taking home with me from this experience. I'd like to share what I wrote with you in two installments. Today I'll be sharing the first four things on the list and tomorrow I'll share the next four.

Peace.

1.     I can sleep anywhere.
Though this might seem a bit tongue in cheek, it’s actually quite the revelation for me. When I was in middle school and high school I was very uptight about getting enough sleep, and I depended on a strict routine to allow me to fall asleep. But even then stress would pile up and I would occasionally lay awake for hours tossing and turning. Sleeping in strange places always made me anxious and sleepovers were often a nightmare. College has diminished this problem a little bit, but now I am officially able to sleep just about anywhere, as I have proven on this trip. Whether it was on an uncomfortable (and upright) transatlantic flight, a train sleeper car, or in a Scottish hostel room packed the brim with a loud and post-camping Belgian family, I’m not worried about falling asleep anymore. High stress levels, uncomfortable settings, strange people—none of it bothers me like it used to. I think this also speaks to a level of comfort I have reached with my own capabilities to adapt to new situations and relax about them. I have learned to let go a little bit, at least enough to turn off my brain and go to sleep even when I don’t have everything figured out. 
2. There are still stories that need to be told. 
This one is especially important to me because I came to Europe a disillusioned undergraduate writing student who had forgotten how to think outside the box. I couldn’t shake the feeling that all the stories my life would have to offer had already been told. Reading had lost my interest. I wondered why it mattered to create new work when there was already more than a person could possibly read in a hundred lifetimes. And then I got thrown into not just one, but many new cultures. I re-discovered some of the magic in stories. I found wonder again. I started to see the line connecting all the art of Italy, each work growing out of an amalgamation of others. I realized that there are many stories that need to be told in this time because they grow out of what has come before. But the icing on the cake was the talk by Dony Mac Manus. One of the things he said was that every generation needs its own art. I am one the artists of my generation, and I firmly intend to do what I can to add to the canon of this time. I’m going home ready to learn and ready to work. There is no time to waste.
3.     I cannot underestimate the importance of my hobbies.
You know what you love by what you miss, and what I miss the most actually surprised me. It wasn’t English classes or theater like I was expecting, but my hobbies of making jewelry and other crafts. I also missed painting, which is not something that I’ve historically put much emphasis on. While I’ve been here I have started thinking about other career options based on these interests instead of the interests that I’ve always pursued in school. I’ve had the space and the time to look at my life and see what really matters to me and because of that I know I’m going to make some changes when I get home. Instead of scheduling the GRE exam I might be applying to design school—we’ll see. But for the first time, it’s an option.
4.     Language barriers are especially daunting to me.
As a writer, language is my thing. I love it, I know it, and I can command it. Not so much with a foreign language. Although I lived abroad this summer, it was in an English speaking country. Italy has really been hard for me because I do struggle with spoken foreign language a lot, though I can usually write and read fairly effectively. I get flustered very easy when people start speaking to me in Italian and I also get embarrassed easily, meaning that I haven’t put myself out there as much as I could have to converse. Although it made things uncomfortable sometimes I am glad that I now know this about myself so that I can work on it. I’m really going to try to become fluent in either French or Italian so that I do have another language that I am comfortable conversing in, but also want to continue learning new elements of language because I think it’s good to be challenged like this.

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